Saturday, May 9, 2009

Seven Deadly Sins

Anger is manifested in the individual who spurns love and opts instead for fury. It is also known as Wrath. You're wired for it. Also, the people around you are pretty damn irritating. You'll be dismembered alive as punishment in hell. 

Pride is excessive belief in one's own abilities, that interferes with the individual's recognition of the grace of God. It has been called the sin from which all others arise. Pride is also known as Vanity. Well-meaning elementary school teachers told you to "believe in yourself." You'll be broken on the wheel as punishment in hell.

Sloth is the avoidance of physical or spiritual work. You're shiftless, lazy, and good fer nuthin'. You'll be thrown into snake pits as punishment in hell.

Lust is an inordinate craving for the pleasures of the body. You'll besmothered in fire and brimstone. Not kisses.

Envy is the desire for others' traits, status, abilities, or situation. Because other people are so much luckier, smarter, more attractive and better than you nYou 'll be put in freezing water as punishment in hell.

Greed is the desire for material wealth or gain, ignoring the realm of the spiritual. It is also called Avarice or Covetousness. You live in possibly the most pampered, consumerist society since the Roman Empire. You'll be boiled alive in oil. Bear in mind that it's the finest, most luxurious boiling oil that money can buy, but it's still boiling as punishment in hell.

 GLUTTONY is an inordinate desire to consume more than that which one requires because you were weaned improperly as an infant. You'll be force-fed rats, toads, and snakes as punishment in hell.

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